what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
