Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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