i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
