He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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