you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
