My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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