how can u be prego again
My nipple is on Facebook.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
