Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize