where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
