what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
