I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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