dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize