Already got asked if we're dating
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
