We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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