I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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