Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
