There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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