so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
