i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
