I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
