I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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