My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Michael Bay diarrhea
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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