Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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