whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
