he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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