wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
