she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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