We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize