Your face is a jimmy john
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
