His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize