Dual....:-)
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
