One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
