when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
