Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
