u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
"it" just moved
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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