All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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