Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
