I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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