i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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