did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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