theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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