Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
