im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
