There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
