Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
