i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
