you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
