If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
