Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Fuck appropriateness.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
