You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
