K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
