the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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