i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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