The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
