I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
