Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
