the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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